Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
