I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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