Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
