don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
