i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
