That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
