he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
