i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
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Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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