she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
