You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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