this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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