cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
