The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
