We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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