i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
