I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
