i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
