After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
