Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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