so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
