i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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