I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
