try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize