and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
