What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
