Define "chronic" masturbator.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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