Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
