remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
