apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
