Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
