My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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