Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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