she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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