why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
