Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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