haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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