I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize