He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
