i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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