I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
