shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
