Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
