see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
