We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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