Porn is love you can see.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
