these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
