i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize