she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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