Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've blown a few things in my day
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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