We're like a lot better than the average bears
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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