farters have to be the big spoon...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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