I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
