brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
