Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
