oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So vagazzling was a success
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
