He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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