Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
