fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
