Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
